something real

my post-shower (spontaneous) existential crisis
- - -

i suddenly do not exist in real time

i am stuck confined to all of my
existance one smothering me and
not an escapist, casualty of habit
since the onset of time i laugh to
ensure i am here, yes, right now,
too often, calendar days wrapped
around me (loving arms) no and profound
surprise, all care less ness trying to
convey a strongest desiring to just
just to maybe hi, hello, tomorrow, too
danger zone!!! i am note taking trying
to pie chart supplement my choice, feet
sweeper, same way we do things, same
waiting to see which is weaker, likely
(me, once in every whiles) not necessary,
surely! what is which that is so disappeared
quick when mind occupied another? an entire
past perhaps? a waste, shooting the messenger
seems. a slight gradient shift in an offwhite
pallet accidentally tinted soft with a too-wet
brush tip, nonsense! true existence pointless.
caught. i am blurt out my feelings one day,
oh save us!!! immune to waiting, damp clothes
clung. could well and okay, one day. i'll put
it on the top of my to do (no colon) list.